Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Pipe-smoking was popular for centuries.  Nowadays the health risks are known.  There used to be a large choice of pipe tobacco.  The expression is a metaphor often used when someone has been told a home truth or criticised. 

A speech impediment may be a stammer or the inability to pronounce certain sounds.  There is a joke that Every time he opens his mouth he puts his foot in it, might be considered an impediment.

A captive audience is a group of people (or even an individual) unable to get away from the speaker due to circumstances.  One example is those being addressed by the driver of a car (or a passenger).  I’m sure you can think of others.

He could talk the hind leg of a donkey describes a garrulous person.  Why a donkey should lose a leg from boredom, I do not know!

Missing the mark comes from archery and other target sports. 

A long shot may be a wild guess.  (Again from shooting arrows or bullets –  longer shots are less accurate.)

Having none of it is not accepting an argument, allegation or accusation.

Get away with means not suffer the consequences of something done or said.

That’s the goods!  That is the real thing.

To deliver the goods means to fulfil one’s promise.

Send up may mean imitate in a comic way.

Good question! The person to whom the question was addressed does not know the answer – or at least is playing for time.

The short answer may be ‘Yes’ or ‘No’!  It is usually followed by an explanation.

Jesus said, “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’, ‘No’ He was teaching  his disciples not to swear oaths.  Matthew 5:33-37